As long as you can still scare white people, you're not a sellout.

With black people, when something happens, we don't wait to see what's going on. We don't want to conversate with you. If you want to talk to us, talk to us while we runnin'.

Talk to each other, that's how you do it. We talk to each other, and we ask each other questions. They might be awkward questions, but that's how you get the ball rolling. Like, you can say, 'Hey white man, how come you're so tense and afraid?' Then he can say, 'Hey black man, how'd you get into my apartment?'

No, Freddy, we're all just people.' Really? I hope you get mugged. Then we'll see how sensitive you are. 'Who mugged you?' 'Oh, it was a person.' 'What'd he look like?' 'Just people, really.'

Being the third generation, I feel all-American, you know? I feel like baseball and apple pie, but I realize I look like nachos and cockfighting.

I wish I was ethnic; I'm nothing. 'Cause if you're Hispanic and you get angry, people are like, 'He's got a Latin temper.' But if you're a white guy and you get angry, people are like, 'That guy's a jerk.'

Between him and Giuliani, I don't wanna be Italian anymore.

Why is the Klan still having meetings? Is there any new business with the Ku Klux Klan? 'Well, we do hate everybody, right? OK, see you next week.'

Q: What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?A: Quatro sinko.

Q: What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?A: Roberto.